Did it ever happen to you that just when you finally know what you want, then something happened and prevents you from getting it? You just want to die from the disappointment, irritation and depression that it brings.

Though in my nearly 40 years of existence, I had my share of this kind of moments but this current one tops my list!

I have been drawing for nearly close to my actual age, learned to paint when I was 7 years old, started to write my stories at 9 years old and became technically a good cook at 13 years old. Then finally I found my way to sculpture in my mid 30's.

After 3 years of study and work in sculpting, it started to happen. I got a my first good commission and I am finally getting the dynamism I want from the statues I am making but all of the sudden I have to stop. In the process of practicing, my two tendons from my two thumbs became over-stretched creating a problem termed as tendinitis. It took me 3 weeks to go to a doctor, thinking if I rest my hands, I would be fine but the pain did not leave. The first doctor just recommended therapy but after two days, I went to another doctor because the pain became more intense. The second doctor gave me cortisol and placed my thumbs in a wrist and thumb support for the next 2 weeks while continuing therapy. Then the bad and damaging news, even though I will later feel okay, this problem will forever be persistent in my life. I have to learn to limit what I do or otherwise, I might trigger the problem again.

Just when I know where I want my art to be but now circumstances made me hold back. For an artist, holding back is technically a kiss of death. In fact, I can't really draw now and I itch and ache to let out my thoughts come through my pen and sketch the ideas and concepts that I want... worst, creating them in 3D form. When I teach art in my class, I could just die in envy as they start making their work. I feel like a hungry man looking at a restaurant window watching the diners eating and enjoying their meals.

But I guess, I just have to swallow the bitter pill. Maybe even when I am to make something little to what I can do actually do, those little things will be enough to bring my true spirit to shine. I should also learn now to slow down and be more spiritual in my approach of things. You can't just really beat time in this mortal body so I have to find harmony to the both of them.

I know I am in peril now but the artist must still prevail in the end.

It will just be two more weeks and a monumental thing will happen. 
I will be able to complete my Top Cow Trinity Statues... CS Moore, the best sculptor of the female form, has finally created the Angelus after 10 years.  There is always a nagging feeling that I will miss the "missing feeling" and that by completing my collection. I have to look for another but I think it will be tough to top this. I already basically completed my Kabuki, Shi and my Chaos collections and I would always feel content and yet pain that after this... what becomes of it? 

No.

6 Psychic

My real love for comics began when I was in 15 years old when I bought my first X-Men Classic comic that featured Mystique fighting the X-Men looking robots created by  Arcade and Ms. Locke. It was actually an off shoot of my fascination from the cartoon series. I said to myself it will the first and last one, I just need to take a look of the characters and that is it. Twenty years later, I have thousand of comic books in my own house and deviated to collecting action figures and statues.

Comic book helped me alot in improving my craft in writing and drawing and to a certain extent my painting technique and conceptualizing ideas. It made me grow and learn a lot of things - even the not so good ones.  There is nothing like sitting down for a few minutes or hours getting mesmerized by the drawing, colors and story of  a good comic book. Even a bad comic book can be good for me because I learn what to avoid or see what went wrong to a potetially good comic read.

I once snapped at a mother who refrained her child from buying a comic book because she said, the child will not learn anything from it while I was getting a load of comic books . I remember asking the mother what made her say that and she said, comic book are worthless piece of paper work were one learns nothing but violence and soft porn. I told the mother it is not so, though she has a right to refrain her child from buying but by telling her son that there is nothing in a comic book is a lie. I showed her what I was buying from the stock of comicbooks in my cart - the Kingdom Come painted series of Alex Ross, Night Cries (A Batman story) among others. Needless to say, I told her the actual value of some of the comic books I was getting in the actual market of collectors. I told her also of my career as a visual artist and art teacher while maintaining my degree in biology  and work as junior manager for a small real estate company. Comic book is just like any book, only with more pictures, it can be from the most silly or to the most intellectual type - it is a matter of taste. After our brief talk, the mother left still not buying a comic book for the son. But I can see the eyes of the young boy oggling over the fight scene in the Kingdom Come series as if he can't believe superheroes can be painted that way. Just like me, when I first saw and read my X-men classic comic book.

I guess, I will never get tired of reading comic books. Wether my collection gains some monetary investment later on or not, what is important is my satisfaction for the time being and more than anything a piece of happiness on Earth.